Together in Parenthood: There Is No Immunity to the Ups and Downs
Becoming a parent I held the expectations that every moment of being with my baby should be joyful and that parenting would come easily and naturally. In reality parenting is a journey of joy, but it’s also a journey of challenges and sometimes being pushed to limits you didn’t even know you had. As a parental mental health therapist and a doula, I hear clients repeating the same thoughts I had as a new mom-
“I should be happy”
“I should be able to do this on my own”
“I should be getting more done”
“I shouldn’t need a break from my child”
“I shouldn’t feel angry”
Silencing the struggle and believing we should be able to manage everything seamlessly, is isolating! The truth is, it’s normal to feel overwhelmed or unsure- it’s a shared experience among us all, and it’s okay to talk about it.
A recent Surgeon General's report underscores the pressures many parents face, emphasizing the need for support and understanding in our roles. This candid acknowledgment from a national health leader validates what many of us experience daily: parenting is hard. It is also a reminder that seeking support and sharing our feelings isn’t just helpful; it’s necessary.
Reflecting and Reframing
Recognizing these common feelings helps us see that we are not alone and opens the door to addressing them more constructively. Here are some ways we can begin to tackle these challenges:
Emotional Well-being: Feeling like you've lost a part of yourself or struggling to find joy in things that once made you happy are common sentiments among new parents. Missing your ‘old self’ isn’t selfish- it’s a genuine reflection of the big changes that happen in parenthood. Finding ways to connect back to what makes you, ‘you’, and engaging in activities you love can help bring your back to yourself. I have also found it invaluable to spend time with friends who knew me before parenthood to help me remember who I am.
Relationship Dynamics: Adjusting to new roles can strain even the strongest bonds. Open communication and shared understanding with your partner are key to navigating this transition together. You may need new tools for the new job - access resources and social support that will allow your relationship to strengthen rather than suffer through these new challenges. Some communities and even universities have relationship skills workshops, or consider finding a couples therapist to guide you.
Managing Anxiety and Stress: The desire to be perfect or worrying about doing everything ‘right’ can weigh heavily on any parent, and it’s something I hear frequently from clients. The good news is it is possible to evaluate your own expectations and learn steps to manage stress, rather than letting it manage you. Support groups, individual therapy, journaling, and meditation/mindfulness can help you gain skills for managing mental health symptoms.
These aspects of parenting are not often highlighted in the everyday narratives, but they are profoundly real.
Enhancing Community Support
At Nova Therapy Services and The Motherhood Collective, we are dedicated to transforming these insights into actionable support for our community. Our activities align with the Surgeon General's recommendations by:
Providing Mental Health Care: Offering therapy and support tailored to the unique challenges of parenting.
Facilitating Open Discussions About Parental Stress: Creating safe spaces for parents to share and normalize their struggles.
Supplying Resources and Preventative Care: From mental health screenings to educational workshops that equip parents with the tools they need.
Creating Social Opportunities: Building networks that foster connections and support among families.
Collaborating with Local Providers: Enhancing the range of services available to parents through partnerships with healthcare professionals and community organizations.
These initiatives not only support individual families but also build a stronger, healthier community where parents feel empowered and supported.
Upcoming Pregnancy and Postpartum Group
Starting next Monday (September 9th), and over the next eight weeks, we'll delve deeper into these topics in our group sessions:
Co-parenting and maintaining a healthy relationship with your partner.
Enhancing emotional well-being and mental health for parents.
Navigating anxiety and practical tips for stress management.
Open discussions and personalized strategies to support your journey.
Past group participants came to group feeling alone in their struggles, unsure, nervous, overwhelmed, and exhausted. They left feeling connected, validated, fulfilled, and hopeful.
We would love for you to experience these same changes. Whether you are seeking advice, want to feel understood, or just want to connect with other who are in the same boat, our community is here to support you. Through education, strategies, and sharing our experiences, we can all feel a little less isolated and a little more prepared to tackle parenthood.
A Community Where You Belong
Interested in learning more about our services?
Contact us for a free doula or therapy consultation or to schedule a session
If you are local to Cache Valley you can check out all of our upcoming events and become a member of The Motherhood Collective - You get access to a variety of educational and social events and a community of other parents who understand what you’re going through
Planning for Postpartum? Check out our self-guided course for having an empowered postpartum experience!
