Dad’s Turn: Why Supporting Fatherly Well-being Postpartum is Crucial
Last month we had the opportunity to attend the Postpartum Support International Training on Paternal Mental Health in Salt Lake City.
This was an eye opening experience that gave us the opportunity to expand our view of caring for families. While much attention is rightfully given to maternal well-being during pregnancy and postpartum, the well-being and mental health of fathers gets neglected. This is a detriment to dad as well as the whole family, because when dad can be an involved partner and attentive care giver, everyone benefits.
Keep reading to find out more about why paternal mental health is so important and how we can better support dad’s during their transtion to parenthood.
Dad’s Experience Perinatal Mood Disorders Too!
Research indicates that 10-20% of dads experience perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs) when their partner is pregnant or postpartum. Commonly, although it’s not widely known, paternal mental health conditions frequently begin to manifest later than maternal ones, often around 3-4 months postpartum. While moms (birthing parents) are often in the thick of it from day one, dads can experience a sneakier onset of mood changes after the initial shock wears off. This delay can result in a lack of timely support and resources for new fathers grappling with these challenges.
It’s not easy to ask for help!
Many fathers do not seek help for their mental health due to entrenched gender role conflicts and societal expectations. At the beginning of the conference last month they asked us to shout out some of our stereotypes about the role of a father (non-birthing parent).
Try it for yourself:
“A dad’s job during the fourth trimester is to ______________”
“If the dad doesn’t agree with his partner about how to take care of the baby, then he needs to ________________”
“If his partner develops a PMAD, the dad should ________________”
“The main role of a father is to ____________”
“A dad who feels stressed and down needs to __________________”
What was revealed in this exercise is that there are prevailing biases and stereotypes about fathers primarily being ‘support to mom’, breadwinners, and oblivious about caregiving. There are expectations that they should ‘buck up’ or ‘just deal with it’ when they are having a hard time. These cultural barriers suggest that men should be stoic and self-sufficient, exacerbating feelings of isolation and anxiety and it can significantly hinder their involvement and satisfaction in parenting.
Parenting Changes the Brain (for dads too!)
Research using functional MRI (fMRI) scans reveals fascinating changes in the brains of new fathers. Yes…parenting changes you!
These studies have found that men show increased activity in areas of the brain associated with emotional processing, empathy, and attachment when they engage actively in caregiving. This neurological rewiring is similar to what occurs in birthing parents, enhancing a father’s ability to read and respond to their infant’s needs and emotions.
Alongside brain changes, hormonal fluctuations also play a critical role in paternal adaptation. For instance, studies have shown that levels of oxytocin, often referred to as the "love hormone," increase in new fathers. Oxytocin is instrumental in enhancing bonding behaviors, such as hugging, holding, and playing with their children, fostering a strong emotional connection.
Testosterone levels, on the other hand, tend to drop in new fathers, which is thought to decrease aggressive behaviors and increase nurturing tendencies. This hormonal shift makes fathers more responsive and attuned to their children's needs, promoting a gentler side of masculinity that is crucial for child development.
The Impact of Paternal Involvement
The benefits of active paternal involvement extend far beyond the father-child bond. When dads are hands-on, everyone wins. Kids with involved dads tend to score better on all sorts of life skills, from IQ to empathy. Dads themselves feel more confident and connected, not just to their kids but to their partner too. And moms? They get to share the load, feel more supported, and enjoy a deeper bond with their partner.
The best news- those statistics on rates of mood and anxiety disorders- mental health improves for both parents when dad is an actively involved caregiver.
How Can We Better Support Dad?
Recognizing the importance of paternal involvement in parenting, it's vital to provide ample support that addresses the unique challenges new dads face. A comprehensive approach to postpartum planning, adequate support systems, and accessible resources can all play a crucial role in enhancing paternal well-being.
Postpartum planning should not only focus on the mother but also actively include the father’s needs. This involves….
Discussing and setting expectations for both parents' roles
Drawing on your relationship strengths and scaffolding around areas of weakness
Enrolling adequate support for both parents from family, friends, social support, or paid services
Creating a schedule that allows both parents time for self-care and bonding with the baby
Accessing resources through Postpartum Support International
Dad Chat- A safe space for dads to discuss their experiences and challenges
New Dad’s Virtual Support Group- Facilitated by professionals, these groups offer support and guidance tailored to new fathers
Closed Facebook Group for Dads- An online community where dads can connect, share experiences, and find peer support
Go to Therapy- Individual or Couples therapy can help support your family for the transition to parenthood especially maintaining your relationship while you’re riding the roller coaster of new parenthood
Recognizing and addressing paternal mental health is essential for the well-being of the entire family. By expanding our perspective to include fathers in the conversation about perinatal mental health, we can foster a more inclusive and supportive environment for all parents. Let’s advocate for greater awareness and resources to support these vital members of our families.
